pU steS! Talking Confuciusly!

Three quarter finals have been done and dusted. Confusion reigns!! One major upset, one sort of and one a damp squib. Such a contrasting level of cricket skills seen in all three games……. confusion rains!!

West Indian effort against Pakistan was a total washout; a complete disgrace and unworthy of last 8 round of a premier competition. May be West Indian team decided to take their revenge on Bangla spectators for the stones they received at their hands!! Me thinks that may be West Indians took it upon them selves to confuse the (g)hosts of match-fixers that inevitably tag along Pakistan team, like a Betal on Vikram’s shoulder! May be this is a better way of taking the ghost of match-fixing out of equation?? Take that..we will shoot your odds to hell! And for free….

I mean, for cryinoutloud, how can batsman after batsman of international class miss simple straight ones? I thought I saw an expression of utter confusion on the face of Mohammad Hafiz. Poor fellow must be trying hard to spin the ball and here he is getting wickets even when failing to do so? Wow, how come no one told me that to be a “right-arm-sidha” could be so profitable? Sack the coach!!! When confusion rains, it could be cats and dogs and wickets!!

To me, more than minnows bashing this spineless batting performance is a reason enough to dredge up the  discussion to revamp this premier competition. Reduce this to only 8 teams AND performance in last tournament should count towards your entry to the next!!! If you loose by over a certain margin (e.g. over 100 runs or more than 8 wickets), whatever you do in proceeding four years, you shall remain barred till next edition! Sorry, that is a bit harsh but there has to be some bloody accountability towards performance. If the players do not take pride in their performance, may be they do not deserve to get the center stage! Perhaps ICC should penalise the board for such a pathetic performance. May be their one year royalty or whatever that ICC distributes to the member boards should be withdrawn! May be if the board members find it hard to live an exalted status for a year or two, it may knock some sense in those fat cats? In case of Windies, that would certainly be helpful. If they had settled the players contract issue in time the team could have performed better….or would they? Confusion reigns…

Was it New Zealand beating South Africa or South Africa loosing to NZ or SAF beating it self? I am confused….I guess, so must be Daniel Vettori and his team. While the South Africans are perhaps chokfused!! How can you explain this phenomenon of choking? People have choked on fish bone; even on drinks. Choke  Africans, oops South Africans  do so regularly in cricket. Graeme Smith has been known to answer “choking” questions from scribes by dismissive and aggressive responses; sadly he and his team has refused to answer that in the best possible manner; on the turf! Strange how many times a team can repeat its follies? On the other hand, you can say that in case of South African cricket, the saying “practice makes you perfect” can’t be truer! It is unconfirmed news that ICC is going to open a “Hall of Choke” which will exclusively include South Africans. The inductees will be called “Choke-a-bloke”. I have this from an unquestionable source that Google will request Smith to write the new Chokopedia. Also it is grapevine on the international cricket circuit that South Africans are not sledged….just “c” word followed by a grin will do! I was surprised when I heard that South African team management had given strict instructions to caterers that their dressing room shall be chocolate-proof…..now I know why. For heaven’s sake, scribes are rummaging the statistics to dig out all “choking” stats of South Africans. The pity is they don’t need to search too hard!! I am told that some one from SAF team actually accused Indian Hindi reporters of sledging when they mentioned phrase “choka chhakka”!  I mean, for chrissake, Kiwis won this fair and square. Isn’t it a “choking” shame that we talk only about South Africa?? That’s why I am confused with this up set!!

To be honest, the Kiwis were still celebrating Australian team’s loss to India more than their miraculous win. They now have the antipodean bragging rights for the next four years; for the first time in the history of World cups, Kiwis have gone a step beyond their elder neighbors. (if it is incorrect, then I blame it on confusion!). I heard a loud cheer last night from across the ditch. I was told it was New Zealand cheering their team’s win. Then there was even louder cheer. It seems some one mentioned Australia!! India’s beating Australia can be called a “sort-of upset”. In some ways India were expected to win in their home conditions. But India’s performance till date was confusing. Perhaps the players were confused that they were still playing overseas… However, it seems that the Aussie sledging reminded them of the “home-truth”. Australian media is now accusing Ricky Ponting of poor captainship. It was reported in one daily that “It was disapPonting to note that we did not let the sleeping dogs lie”.

Hopefully, it is expected that this state of confusion will not continue for long. Tonight, Sri Lankans will resolve any confusion Andrew Strauss has about the out come of last quarter finals. Seems like Strauss is confident of “adjusting”. I have a feeling that by the end of the game Poms willl know that adjusting is not enough in cricket; you have to win it!! But then again, Poms have been the most Jekyll and Hyde team of this World cup. So much so that Afridi is totally confused. So much so that the Pakistani team has registered a protest with ICC and threatened England for a compensation for “breaching of our paternal rights”. Now ICC is confused and trying to interpret cricket laws as per Sharia Laws!! Confusion reigns supreme….

Neither here nor there..

It was not surprising that Aussies and Ricky Ponting have started their preparation for the upcoming series against Pakistan. If you are looking for details on a cricket camp you sadly underrate Aussies. Their preparation begins by hurling a few testing verbal bouncers at their opponents. Ponting decided to “compliment” the new Pakistani test captain Shahid Afridi (any one remembers how many have come and gone?). Nothing new there. Aussies believe in softening the opponent captain first. However the quantum of statements about Afridi (“He hasn’t played much Test cricket of late, has he?” OR “he’s….not necessarily one of their best Test players” etc), especially after winning the last series, tells me that he may be a tad worried about Pakistan team getting together under this new captain. Read his last sentence…”…we just have to make sure we’re focusing on our little things to be the best team we can be when we play them.” Lovely! If you read that last sentence without the benefit of full text, you may be excused for searching for the rising Sun in the west! Don’t worry, Ponting and Aussies are as consistent as the heavenly bodies!! But hey, what is this “..I think we can sort him out in Test cricket for sure” thingy?? Mate, you don’t have to worry about sorting this opponent. If the last series is any indication, they are champs at doing it themselves! Aussies just have to turn up and leave the rest to their opponents!! I wonder, just wonder, what the Pakistan Board is planning, though. If you are seriously doubting your own team for loosing games for money, I wonder how can you keep this series clean that is being played in England, where there are huge number of Pakistani ex-patriots? May be by sweeping previous decisions under the carpet!

Is this “Match fixing” मौसम or what? Doubts are also probably raised about the Indian team’s performance in Zimbabwe! There is hardly anything worthwhile writing about the two “shocking” losses to Zombies…oops, Zimbos. What is surprising is the facile win by Indians against Sri Lankan team in the first game, probably the strongest team on paper in the comp. So are Indians being “obliging” guests? A few wins against a highly ranked team can divert the attention off the beleaguered Zimbabwe Cricket Association. Remember how Bangladesh got the nod of ICC? While not detracting from the terrific performance of the Zimbabweans, they may have benefited from the charitable gestures not only from Harbhajan Singh, but also the India selectors! How else can you explain experienced pacers like Ishant and Appam cooling their heels when a completely new look, new ball attack opens for India? Every time a team plays, it has to do so with the respect for the opponents. Sadly, Indian selectors have forgotten that. Or is it that India and Sri Lanka have decided that the hosts must play the finals; the opponents will fight it out for a spot in the finals??  It looks like Indian team management is absolutely committed to experiment in this series even at the cost of being thrashed. That can constitute match-fixing of a sort, isn’t it? Your guess is as good as mine. Seems to me that match-fixing is a disease easily traversing across the LOC!! Poor Raina is on a hiding to nothing…

Some very very interesting things have emerged from the whole IPL mess..I would strongly suggest all  read the copy of email from ECB Chairman Giles Clarke to BCCI President Shashank Manohar. Modern soap opera. If it is made into a sit-com it can easily give a run for the money to “क्योंकि सास भी कभी बहु थी”. Apparently Clarke himself is not that much popular within England County Cricket set up that makes up the ECB. Majority counties and especially those with major stadia are looking to increase revenue and Lalit Modi’s proposed “rebel league” in England was very interesting. While Modi is being portrayed as the biggest villain to hit cricket, it seems that the men present in Delhi meeting admire him as a visionary. All charges and his “bigger-than-the-game-attitude” notwithstanding, his contributions to BCCI and Indian cricket can not be denied. I hope current BCCI stake-holders understand that sooner than later. In last couple of days it has become apparent that the typically Indian ‘Narangi” (mandarin) unity is being exposed as the skin is being peeled off slowly in this IPL mess. Seems now that Sharad Pawar and even the interim  IPL chairman Chirau Amin are as “clean” as Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor. Looks like Modi is on a course to take a few down with him. Does it mean that the English motto of “Divide and Rule” will succeed again? Empire Strikes Back?? Will money win over the beauty of this game? Will the real Gods of cricket like GGT (Great God Tendulkar) become merely the ushers to the virtual Gods of Cricket like Modis, Clarkes, Pawars?? Keep watching the drama…at least it is better than the insipid cricket Indian team has been dishing out of late!! Legendary Kishor Kumar is blaring out loud and clear on my stereo “पैसा यह पैसा, कोई नहीं ऐसा, यह हो मुसीबत, न हो मुसीबत…”
Cheers Folks..